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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Groupon Says

Here is writing advice from some of the best writers of fiction I know. I think if I just base my book off their recommendations, I will have the next NYT best-seller for SURE.

(Disclaimer: Please remember this is not ME writing this, it's the Groupon people! Though if you have Groupon, you will know that the people who write for them are hilarious and clever which makes me WISH I were writing this.)

The Groupon Guide to: Writing Fiction

Instead of being based on real-life events, many of today's best-selling books are composed of what are conventionally known as “lies,” although the publishing industry prefers the handy euphemism "fiction." Because they are entirely made up, writing fictional books is extremely easy—just follow this handy guide:

Use at least three characters:

  • Protagonist: The hero. In all books written thus far, the protagonist has been a sullen teenager, a swashbuckling duck, or car that can transform into a smaller car.
  • Anti-gonist: The bad guy. Always the protagonist's twin father.
  • Love Interest: Either a person or bag of gold that must be rescued by the protagonist.

Choose a type of conflict

  • Man vs. Man: A man fights another man
  • Man vs. Himself: A man fights his clone
  • Man vs. Nature: A man fights some angry clouds
  • Nature vs. Nature: Two angry clouds fight each other

Finish with a twist:

  • It was Earth all along! Or conversely, it was space all along.
  • All the characters were ghosts! And the characters that seemed like ghosts were actually mummies.
  • It wasn't a book at all, but a helpful exercise VHS! That's why it was so fun to read!

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